Art for Lesbian & Bisexual Women: In Our Own Little World, 2020 (PT 2 OF 2)
I Want Women-Only Spaces Free From the Male Supremacist Gaze
Click Here for Part I: Art for Lesbian & Bisexual Women: In Our Own Little World, 2020
In Our Own Little World, 2020, digital drawing
Women Want to Love Their Skin and Bare Their Skin Without Male Retaliation (cont’d)
When I hear women joking online about how they would bare more skin in female-only spaces, I have complex reactions. But there is that part of me that knows how my art and writing would bare so much more if I had the sovereignty of a male-free existence. The deliberation of exposing more skin or covering up more skin is rooted in male objectification of our womanness. We do choose the level of skin we show based on centuries of male supremacy telling us to do so, and our options are informed by the particular tribal culture we practice and our individual strategies of surviving male violence.
Yet there is this other, separate part that the women who want to show more skin are talking about, a part that is out of reach of any male thinking or culture. It is the deep appreciation for our womanness. We want to neutrally bask in the magnificence of ourselves, all aspects of our being. There is that female culture part, free from male supremacy, that knows that “our body is an instrument, not an ornament” and that we can celebrate our physicality and all it lets us do. We can celebrate our physical fitness, we can celebrate the curves that form around our skeletal structure, we can celebrate our fat distribution and the many lumps, bumps, cracks, and crevices that protect us, we can celebrate each hair on our body culminating in our lush female bush, we can celebrate how fucking aesthetically pleasing we find ourselves and fellow women.
There is absolutely a part of those women showing or hiding skin that conforms to the male supremacist gaze, which has been deeply studied in feminist discourses. But we can’t forget the other parts of women, when she’s admiring what she sees in the mirror, because she loves her full, embodied self. In twisted male culture, it gets turned into notions of “objectification” or “self-attraction,” but that’s not what’s going on according to female culture. We admire our attractiveness in a balanced and healthy way. The attraction we feel is not one of objectification; it’s the attraction of knowing we love ourselves inside, out, just as we are. If women could create female-only spaces large enough for true freedom of movement and control of the means of production (like whole countries), we would see a very different reality of women’s relationship to their skin. We would also see a drastic change to the uncomfortable, dysfunctional, and poisonous clothing that male culture sells to us currently. Of course, it would take time to undue the centuries of male supremacist training forced onto women and girls. But if we had the chance, we could make a space where we aren’t living with irrational thoughts about our bodies or the pressure to include males in our culture, thinking, and spaces. We would see the ridiculousness of squeezing ourselves into ass-tight clothing like we’re an encased sausage, and we would see the ridiculousness of wearing clothing equivalent to a circus tent so no one can see our womanness. We could know the freedom of going shirtless on a hot, summer day without being objectified by males and their male supremacist gaze.
Note: I have artworks with similar motifs and this made me so excited to see! I must have subconsciously been influenced by Judith Baca and other women’s artwork! I straight up draw women with tree-hands, and other variations of women mixed with nature. The connection of aesthetics is so fascinating to me as an artist. It’s a joy I can’t capture in words.
Emily Marie Miller, New Moon, Late Spring - Flaxen, 2024, Oil on Linen
The Male Manipulation of Blaming our Womanness
Straight, gay, and bisexual males in my life talk about the lack of imminent non-sexualized and sexualized violence when they bare their skin, and I imagine what it feels like to be that free. Even under male homophobia, men do go out shirtless in booty shorts and the fear of being beaten or raped by a male isn’t a vigilance they have to practice in the same way as women do. They are part of the male oppressor class and anti-female objectification doesn’t affect every aspect of their freedoms. But on the hottest of days, when the heatwaves of Philly are making it impossible for me to move outside, if I dare to wear clothing that shows my skin…well I never get to not be vigilant. I don’t get the freedom of wearing less clothing in the heat. I don’t only fear homophobia in the streets, I fear males’ sexism and misogyny. Because of this, my triggers are too high, and I can’t handle the leers of male eyes on my body when they can see my silhouette clearly. I tried for some time to live in my own female culture bubble within my thoughts and wear whatever I wanted to wear when it’s hot. But several male harassers later, that bubble burst and I was back to the reality that male culture still held violent power and control over public space. So I found an unfair, “middle ground” for myself. I cover my body just enough to feel a modicum of safety while not completely melting away in the heat. Of course no amount of coverage stops males’ from bothering me. Yet I have seen the shift in the type of male harasser that targets me depending on my choice of clothing. I’ve experienced all levels of skin exposure and covering, and I know the depressing truth, that no matter what I wear or what I do, male violence has nothing to do with me or my skin. Even sisters in niqab who are fully trapped by the fear of male violence, know no piece of fabric is gonna protect them because blaming female skin is the decoy; it’s the gaslighting to say that male violence is justified and is the fault of women and girls. There is no freedom until women and girls’ female anatomy and physiology itself isn’t a male culture excuse for female dehumanization and male violence. It really is that simple. That’s why males build nonsensical cultures and mystical beliefs to cover up logic, rationality, and root-cause analysis. The male class doesn’t see the female class as human. And even if some males do, they always stop short of truly challenging male culture and supremacist systems because they want the entitlements and privileges. Similar to white male supremacy, all male supremacy uses parts of women’s lived realities to say they “deserve” violence and are subhuman. All male supremacists have a fixation with phenotypes and skin. Exposing our skin and shape, whether in real life or an artwork, gives men and boys an imaginary “pass” to harass women and girls. The thing we need to dismantle is the very notion that a “pass” exists at all. We have to show the gaslighting for what it is, so women and girls can free their whole selves, including their skin.
The Fear of Male Culture is Meant to Stifle and Silence Us: Resist!
I’m now seeing that part of the path to freedom is pushing against the very real danger we pull back from. Not every single woman and girl has access to this option, but more of us do than we realize. We need to show our full selves, the way we see it, despite the fear. Knowing that males want to intimidate me, objectify me, and misinterpret my art, pushes me to stand my ground even firmer. I will always fight the oppressor’s goal of coercing me to make my choices based on fear. I know I don’t have meaningful choice under male supremacy, and fear will dictate my movements, yet I challenge this at every turn. Currently, I can’t escape the risks of males until female-only spaces are allowed to exist, similar to how male-only spaces have and do. I must share my work on my female experiences and culture, including the naked women in my art, because there is no freedom if I adapt to the rules of tyrannical men. If I’m not willing to take the risk, if I don’t challenge my own internalized male supremacist ideologies, then I can’t change the system that I wish to destroy. I’ll never be able to fully control the perceptions of males, but I can fight to carve out the dream of female-only spaces where women and girls can build new ways of seeing, free from the male supremacist gaze that invades our thinking and our lives. Each drawing is a dream I’m putting out into the world that can turn into action steps and one day reality. Yes - one day we will be dancing naked in the fields, safer in a way we never knew possible. I dream of a world that will make Michfest look harsh, and it’s the closest American approximation we have to the joy and freedom of female-only spaces. To those women out there desiring “softness,” aka freedom, comfort, coziness, and the ability to let their guard down…this is how we get there. We fight for our right to female-only spaces and for our right to build our female cultures free from male supremacy. We fight the notions of “inevitability” created by males and we hold onto our hope and dreams until we make them into realities.
✍️Journal Reflection Prompts:
How has the fear of male violence changed your relationship to your skin, your shape, and your body as a whole?
If the world was free of all males for 24 hours, what do you think you would do differently? What if it was one week? One year? The rest of your life?
If you never had to worry about males or their predominant cultural ideologies again, how would you lead your life differently (if at all)?
What does female culture mean to you?
What does male culture mean to you?
How has male culture affected female culture?
Has male supremacy affected your art/creativity/ideas? If yes, how so?
Do you center women and girls in your art/creativity/ideas? If yes, how so?
“21st Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival,” Ann Arbor District Library, 1996, Creative Commons Attribution, Non-Commercial, Share-alike.
P.S. When will they bring back Michfest and continue to build it into a diverse female-only space? I’m ready to connect with other lesbian sisters and dance in our own little field of dreams. Our own little world. I’m not a party person, but this is one I definitely want to attend. Here’s to dreaming sisters!