males should never be rewarded or praised for violence against women. I am so sick of hearing of the male loneliness epidemic. they have only their own selves to blame.
One of my smaller dreams is to start a women's reading room. Have a library full of women's works, and provide a place for women to read and discuss, or just relax with a cup of tea.
I would want to structure it like a book club, something informal and not a business. I would just want to open my home to other women.
I love this example Jo! It's not only an accessible option with the plan of using your home, and many books can be found for free through PDFs online. The idea of relaxation and tea tap into the need for joy and care. Thanks so much for sharing this and I hope the dream continues to grow!
I think the full execution of this idea may have to wait a while, until I'm living alone, which I currently am not. I will someday inherit my mother's house, which I can easily envision turning into just such a reading library.
My current place is a postage stamp by comparison, and shared with two others, both male. I can't guarantee a woman-only space just yet.
But I can work towards the goal: gathering books, sharing them with friends, etc. and building relationships with other women.
And to help start you off go to the resources on my site femaleliberation.net (The Feminist Archive) where I link to a bunch of other radfem women's libraries. Also @albanian.radfem routinely posts up awesome resources on Instagram. If you're on your desktop it's easy to grab the links from there.
I've also been thinking about what separatism could look like. I hope to have some practical experience soon.
I think women need women-only spaces in big and small ways. I've found some women-only pockets of sanity online (such as your Substack). They have been incredibly useful.
Any podcasts that you like please share sis, especially in the piece you're working on about separatism! I like how you said big and small. It's a good framing for us to remember to take steps that work with our circumstances.
There already exist women's land communities which have minimal contact with the wider local community, although there are fewer than there were in past decades. There are quite a few women-only summer gatherings and places like We'Moon Land, just outside of Portland, Oregon. https://wemoonland.org/
Thanks for sharing this lead sister and absolutely there are several Womyn's Lands out there, and many are looking for younger women to take the helm. I learned about one near me though haven't been able to make contact. But I'm planning to continue searching for something near PA.
"By any means necessary" certainly tells us how strongly you feel, but what does it actually mean?
What are you actually going to do?
What are these "ruthless to males" actions which you imagine will actually result in you and other women being able to live separately from men and result in your "self-preservation" rather than draw an overwhelming response from men that will actually have an effect opposite to what you desire?
And why aren't you already doing whatever it is that you think will accomplish your goals?
I am NOT trying to discourage you, but rather to encourage you to start making plans and taking action to get you closer to achieving what you imagine you would like.
Sister thanks for sharing some of the worries that come up for you. I think CITW made an important point about pausing on making assumptions. A slight reframe that might help is to approach things with curiosity to find out first if someone is taking actions before assuming they aren't. One thing that really stands out for me in your comment is how you say, "draw an overwhelming response from men that will actually have an effect opposite to what you desire." I urge you to sit with this more, reflect on what it exactly means to you and it's possible end conclusions. What I hear as an outsider to your experience attempting to reflect on your written words, is that you fear that if women stand up and fight back against men that Males' Anti-Female Violence will "get worse." This is a very common question/thought that comes up for women. It is the exact rationality we use when directly surviving an abuser (ex. living with a man who is abusing you). The rational survival response is to de-escalate and not make things worse. But that individualistic survival mechanism doesn't scale when discussing the entirety of men and boys across the globe systematically violating women and girls on the basis of our sex. That is where the collective viewpoint must be utilized aka what CITW is referring to about "being ready for this lane/mindset." She had to work for years to get where she is at with separatism, and it all started with one small step, and most important, opening her mind to different perspectives about what it really means to be free.
Multiple truths are playing out here that yes when you stand up to an oppressor group they will increase their oppressive hold through increased violence. When an individual woman attempts to escape a male abuser, that's when he increases his violence. And the truths along with this is that when a war is waged against your demographic by an oppressor group, you will at some point face very difficult choices and truths. There will be some of us women and girls that will die, and that is already what's happening, hence us standing up and fighting back against males. Just think of our sister Virginia Giuffre. We're already being violated, and a sizable number of women, not all, have to rise up. It's not an "all or nothing" situation, but oppressors want us to think through that male culture frame. Oppressor groups rely on us believing their oppression is inevitable and that it "could be worse" so we're coerced to give up before we even try.
Please take the pressure off yourself of having it all figured out or cutting every single man out of your life. I know plenty of sisters who can't get away from males, yet they still carve out whatever pocket, and they slowly chip away at freedom. Start small. What little steps can you take to practice separatism? What is manageable now? I like to channel the quote, "one day at a time" because that's all we can do at this moment. Some other examples of things to think through...how can I divert my money to female-only goods, services, and causes? Jo's example of the book club - does something like that intrigue you with maybe a couple other women in your vicinity? Can you work on building more female acquaintances just to shoot the shit with and with time move toward consciousness-raising questions? Or what about the challenge to only ready and listen to women creators and see how much you can actually stick to that. We just need to try and start somewhere. Hope this is helpful in some way...take what's useful and leave the rest behind sister.
males should never be rewarded or praised for violence against women. I am so sick of hearing of the male loneliness epidemic. they have only their own selves to blame.
Don't waste time or energy listening to or reading about "the male loneliness epidemic". Scroll past anything like that.
I do the same thing sister great reminder for all of us!
i do not read the articles. men should be grateful any women talk to them at all, given what men do
Yes sister! No more of these lies! And yes to what our sister Holly said!
One of my smaller dreams is to start a women's reading room. Have a library full of women's works, and provide a place for women to read and discuss, or just relax with a cup of tea.
I would want to structure it like a book club, something informal and not a business. I would just want to open my home to other women.
I love this example Jo! It's not only an accessible option with the plan of using your home, and many books can be found for free through PDFs online. The idea of relaxation and tea tap into the need for joy and care. Thanks so much for sharing this and I hope the dream continues to grow!
I think the full execution of this idea may have to wait a while, until I'm living alone, which I currently am not. I will someday inherit my mother's house, which I can easily envision turning into just such a reading library.
My current place is a postage stamp by comparison, and shared with two others, both male. I can't guarantee a woman-only space just yet.
But I can work towards the goal: gathering books, sharing them with friends, etc. and building relationships with other women.
Yes exactly! Step by step, steadily moving toward your vision.
Oh, and with free PDFs and similar, I can fill a tablet with women's works, as a sort of portable library ❤️
And to help start you off go to the resources on my site femaleliberation.net (The Feminist Archive) where I link to a bunch of other radfem women's libraries. Also @albanian.radfem routinely posts up awesome resources on Instagram. If you're on your desktop it's easy to grab the links from there.
Then do that!
I’m working on the collection, for sure 😊
I've also been thinking about what separatism could look like. I hope to have some practical experience soon.
I think women need women-only spaces in big and small ways. I've found some women-only pockets of sanity online (such as your Substack). They have been incredibly useful.
Any podcasts that you like please share sis, especially in the piece you're working on about separatism! I like how you said big and small. It's a good framing for us to remember to take steps that work with our circumstances.
I found a documentary about a separatist community by PBS. It was called Womontown and it was in Kansas City.
https://www.kansascitypbs.org/local-shows/womontown/
This is awesome sis gonna restack to share with more sisters!
There already exist women's land communities which have minimal contact with the wider local community, although there are fewer than there were in past decades. There are quite a few women-only summer gatherings and places like We'Moon Land, just outside of Portland, Oregon. https://wemoonland.org/
Thanks for sharing this lead sister and absolutely there are several Womyn's Lands out there, and many are looking for younger women to take the helm. I learned about one near me though haven't been able to make contact. But I'm planning to continue searching for something near PA.
ALL OF THIS!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I know u already on this sis!!!
Separatism will only work for a few women.
Surely we all know that.
If you can pull it off, go for it.
Most of us will only be able to carve out some women-only space while still living among men.
Separatism will work for the women who truly desire it & who will do WHATEVER IS NECESSARY to accomplish that outcome BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY!
I don't live with excuses ONLY ACTION, DETERMINATION & EXECUTION!
If woman can't deal with getting dirty to achieve what is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY then this lane might not be her fit.
I'm just fine with being RUTHLESS to males.
Self-preservation is all that I care about PERIOD!
To each their own
"By any means necessary" certainly tells us how strongly you feel, but what does it actually mean?
What are you actually going to do?
What are these "ruthless to males" actions which you imagine will actually result in you and other women being able to live separately from men and result in your "self-preservation" rather than draw an overwhelming response from men that will actually have an effect opposite to what you desire?
And why aren't you already doing whatever it is that you think will accomplish your goals?
I am NOT trying to discourage you, but rather to encourage you to start making plans and taking action to get you closer to achieving what you imagine you would like.
Sister thanks for sharing some of the worries that come up for you. I think CITW made an important point about pausing on making assumptions. A slight reframe that might help is to approach things with curiosity to find out first if someone is taking actions before assuming they aren't. One thing that really stands out for me in your comment is how you say, "draw an overwhelming response from men that will actually have an effect opposite to what you desire." I urge you to sit with this more, reflect on what it exactly means to you and it's possible end conclusions. What I hear as an outsider to your experience attempting to reflect on your written words, is that you fear that if women stand up and fight back against men that Males' Anti-Female Violence will "get worse." This is a very common question/thought that comes up for women. It is the exact rationality we use when directly surviving an abuser (ex. living with a man who is abusing you). The rational survival response is to de-escalate and not make things worse. But that individualistic survival mechanism doesn't scale when discussing the entirety of men and boys across the globe systematically violating women and girls on the basis of our sex. That is where the collective viewpoint must be utilized aka what CITW is referring to about "being ready for this lane/mindset." She had to work for years to get where she is at with separatism, and it all started with one small step, and most important, opening her mind to different perspectives about what it really means to be free.
Multiple truths are playing out here that yes when you stand up to an oppressor group they will increase their oppressive hold through increased violence. When an individual woman attempts to escape a male abuser, that's when he increases his violence. And the truths along with this is that when a war is waged against your demographic by an oppressor group, you will at some point face very difficult choices and truths. There will be some of us women and girls that will die, and that is already what's happening, hence us standing up and fighting back against males. Just think of our sister Virginia Giuffre. We're already being violated, and a sizable number of women, not all, have to rise up. It's not an "all or nothing" situation, but oppressors want us to think through that male culture frame. Oppressor groups rely on us believing their oppression is inevitable and that it "could be worse" so we're coerced to give up before we even try.
Please take the pressure off yourself of having it all figured out or cutting every single man out of your life. I know plenty of sisters who can't get away from males, yet they still carve out whatever pocket, and they slowly chip away at freedom. Start small. What little steps can you take to practice separatism? What is manageable now? I like to channel the quote, "one day at a time" because that's all we can do at this moment. Some other examples of things to think through...how can I divert my money to female-only goods, services, and causes? Jo's example of the book club - does something like that intrigue you with maybe a couple other women in your vicinity? Can you work on building more female acquaintances just to shoot the shit with and with time move toward consciousness-raising questions? Or what about the challenge to only ready and listen to women creators and see how much you can actually stick to that. We just need to try and start somewhere. Hope this is helpful in some way...take what's useful and leave the rest behind sister.
Laughing at your ASSUMPTION that this isn't ALREADY my way of life... lol
Don't worry about the rest Holly, CLEARLY this isn't your lane or mindset.
Have a great day Holly